One day, I realized he might not exist. My soulmate, I mean.

I realized there might not be someone walking around this earth just waiting to meet me. Someone with a private world just as intricate as mine that, one day, I would get to share and be a part of and know.

And I realized I was keeping a vacant spot in my heart for this person who might not exist. That I wasn’t allowing myself to be whole because how could I be whole with my other half missing?

It was an excuse, of course. A simple view of life that would exempt me from having to put in the effort of filling myself up with the love I was waiting for someone else to supply.

The reality is this: Life is a churning, chaotic thing with no guarantees, and in the throws of the tumbling you might run into people to hold on to for a while. Sometimes for a night, sometimes for life.

And holding on to someone is a worthy thing. A wonderful thing. Something to look forward to and appreciate and embrace with your whole heart.

But the love you get from holding on to someone will never be as reliable as the love you can give yourself. Right here. Right now.

So here’s my advice. Be open to love, but don’t be empty for it.

Open, Not Empty - John Paul Brammer (via johnpaulbrammer)

3,367 notes

Did you know, you can quit your job, you can leave university? You aren’t legally required to have a degree, it’s a social pressure and expectation, not the law, and no one is holding a gun to your head. You can sell your house, you can give up your apartment, you can even sell your vehicle, and your things that are mostly unnecessary. You can see the world on a minimum wage salary, despite the persisting myth, you do not need a high paying job. You can leave your friends (if they’re true friends they’ll forgive you, and you’ll still be friends) and make new ones on the road. You can leave your family. You can depart from your hometown, your country, your culture, and everything you know. You can sacrifice. You can give up your $5.00 a cup morning coffee, you can give up air conditioning, frequent consumption of new products. You can give up eating out at restaurants and prepare affordable meals at home, and eat the leftovers too, instead of throwing them away. You can give up cable TV, Internet even. This list is endless. You can sacrifice climbing up in the hierarchy of careers. You can buck tradition and others’ expectations of you. You can triumph over your fears, by conquering your mind. You can take risks. And most of all, you can travel. You just don’t want it enough. You want a degree or a well-paying job or to stay in your comfort zone more. This is fine, if it’s what your heart desires most, but please don’t envy me and tell me you can’t travel. You’re not in a famine, in a desert, in a third world country, with five malnourished children to feed. You probably live in a first world country. You have a roof over your head, and food on your plate. You probably own luxuries like a cellphone and a computer. You can afford the $3.00 a night guest houses of India, the $0.10 fresh baked breakfasts of Morocco, because if you can afford to live in a first world country, you can certainly afford to travel in third world countries, you can probably even afford to travel in a first world country. So please say to me, “I want to travel, but other things are more important to me and I’m putting them first”, not, “I’m dying to travel, but I can’t”, because I have yet to have someone say they can’t, who truly can’t. You can, however, only live once, and for me, the enrichment of the soul that comes from seeing the world is worth more than a degree that could bring me in a bigger paycheck, or material wealth, or pleasing society. Of course, you must choose for yourself, follow your heart’s truest desires, but know that you can travel, you’re only making excuses for why you can’t. And if it makes any difference, I have never met anyone who has quit their job, left school, given up their life at home, to see the world, and regretted it. None. Only people who have grown old and regretted never traveling, who have regretted focusing too much on money and superficial success, who have realized too late that there is so much more to living than this.

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‘Men get raped and molested,’ should be a whole sentence. If you have to tack on the word ‘too,’ then you’re using the experience of male victims to silence females instead of giving them their own space.

(via goldenphoenixgirl)

Not sure if I’ve reblogged this before but it always bears repeating.

(via thebicker)

If the only time you talk about male rape survivors is when you are interrupting women and non-binary people talking about sexual assault statistics and their own experiences, don’t pretend you give a shit about male rape survivors.

(via misandry-mermaid)

(Source: theresalwaysalwayssomething)

91,161 notes

aka14kgold:

the-uncensored-she:

coeur-de-porcelaine:

But another of the interviewees left me feeling concerned. Darren was young, good-looking and bright; I asked him how often he thought the women he paid enjoyed the sex. “I don’t want them to get any pleasure,” he told me. “I am paying for it and it is her job to give me pleasure. If she enjoys it I would feel cheated.” I asked if he felt prostitutes were different to other women. “The fact that they’re prepared to do that job where others won’t, even when they’re skint, means there’s some capability inside them that permits them to do it and not be disgusted,” he said. He seemed full of a festering, potentially explosive misogyny.

When asked what would end ­prostitution, one interviewee laughed and said, “Kill all the girls.” Paul told me that it would take “all the men to be locked up”. But most of them told the researchers that they would be ­easily deterred if the current laws were implemented. Fines, public ­exposure, employers being informed, being issued with an Asbo or the risk of a criminal record would stop most of the men from continuing to pay for sex. Discovering the women were ­trafficked, pimped or otherwise coerced would appear not to be so ­effective. Almost half said they ­believed that most women in prostitution are victims of pimps (“the pimp does the ­psychological raping of the woman,” explained one). But they still continued to visit them.

Germaine Greer: “Women have little to no idea how much men hate them.

Discovering the women were trafficked, pimped or otherwise coerced would appear not to be so ­effective.

Only harm to the self would have any impact. Even if they don’t all relish harm to the woman, they are all knowingly—and unashamedly—complicit in it

(Source: yoursocialconstructsareshowing)

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odinsblog:

Racial bias in America: from higher suspension rates in preschool, to disproportionate rates of capital punishment, to everything in between, structures of authority routinely allow anti-Black racial bias to color the “facts”, and warp the narrative. And frequently (whether unintentional or otherwise) the police and the media often work together to further criminalize innocent Black victims

1Criminalizing Blackness in America

2. 14-year-old Tremaine McMillian attacked and choked by police, literally while holding a puppy…because McMillian made them “feel threatened” and gave them “dehumanizing stares

3. Author and CNN contributor keithboykin: how the AP slandered Renisha McBride even in death

4.  The Associated Press: when can skin color alone determine who is and who isn’t a looter? (hint: don’t be Black)

This implicit racial bias does not magically stop at innocuous events like the VMAs, or in Hollywood. So far, it doesn’t ever turn off. There are two Americas and racial bias is as ubiquitous as the air we breathe

68,938 notes